January 11, 2010

Monologue Monday: Katie in Wet Hot American Summer

I saw this gem on my shelf and thought: aha! Yes! A monologue from this movie for my Monday mania.

Immediately I thought of Coop (pictured here) declaring his love for Katie -- "I don't care that you're bowlegged and I don't care that you're bilingual!" -- and nearly went for it, before I thought of both monologues Susie has -- "Leave your bullshit attitude and baggage at the door cause we don't need it!" and "I am busting my balls, woman!" -- and then I just couldn't decide. This movie is endlessly quotable!

But I settled on Marguerite Moreau's subtle but hysterical break-up speech, which ends up being a sort of heart to the film.

Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great.

But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is, like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just want Andy. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know?

So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you. But you're really nice!

Any actor probably could've just said the words, but without overselling it for a moment, Moreau nails each of the stereotypes she embodies -- vanity, lust, and stupidity. The earnest way she says "I just want Andy" and her steadfast and commendably short list of priorities are topped only by the very last line, delivered as such an afterthought but probably one she should've started with. She's so iconic as the summer-camp counselor from the 80s, more so than any other character in the movie, that she might as well be one of the doomed in Friday the 13th. And in the end, we have loved Coop so much for trying, that when it all ends up for naught, our hearts break for him. Such a wacky, bizarre movie that succeeds and fails proudly, but certainly ends just right.

No comments:

Post a Comment