Cine-Smackdown: #1-#10

All done! Just one more cine-smackdown to go -- and the hardest one of all, for sure. How do you deal with this line-up!? But I've played this game nine times now, and so this has to be just as ruthless. It's the only way to get it done.

1. Citizen Kane 
2. The Godfather
3. Casablanca
4. Raging Bull
5. Singin' in the Rain
6. Gone with the Wind
7. Lawrence of Arabia
8. Schindler's List
9. Vertigo
10. The Wizard of Oz

Of these ten, the only one I hadn't seen before was Lawrence of Arabia.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
Oof. Well, this is where this gets tricky, because they can't go any further up the list than this. It's funny, I was just arguing against quantifying art. Hmm. Is it cheating to say The Wizard of Oz, since it's at the bottom of these? I arguably consider that film more of a classic than the three directly above it, and that its place in American cinema outranks those others.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
There's a couple of ideas here. Technically, Lawrence of Arabia has no business being on a list of best American films since its director, main actor, screenwriter (well, one of them) and production company are all European. That's not to say that it's not a good film, but it's a little meandering even when compared without its heritage in mind. I wasn't as taken by Casablanca or Raging Bull as I was with the others, so I might move those, too. But for argument's sake, let's say Lawrence gets banished to the desert.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
I think it's obvious that in this situation you choose The Wizard of Oz. A legion of straw, tin and cowardly buddies! Also, Melanie in Gone with the Wind: loyal to the end.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Vito Corleone (The Godfather) would have it outsourced, but it'd get the job done. But he and Jake LaMotta (Raging Bull) will spill a little too much blood, even for the situation. Something makes me want to say Cosmo Brown (Singin' in the Rain) since he'd dance-confuse my enemies and then pack a punch.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind) is the classic frienemy. She basically inspired Mean Girls. End of story.

Who do I take home to Mom?
When I look at this list, the men options are mostly tortured, lonely, egomaniacs or Nazis. I don't know if my mom would want me dating a scarecrow, either. God, it leaves me with Don Lockwood (Singin' in the Rain) -- but boy, what an option!

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Lawrence of Arabia: too much sand in my ass. The food was good, though. I have to make that Moroccan winter squash stew again.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
Casablanca: I would just end up saying something hurtful, like how I didn't give a damn.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
Raging Bull. No explanation necessary.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Singin' in the Rain would even make me a big star!

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Citizen Kane -- and our torrid affair would show up on the front page of the Inquirer. I swear to God, if he calls me a "singer"...

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #11-#20

Only ten left to go! This impossible-seeming task is seeming less and less impossible. Now that I know for sure I'll get to the end, I'm not so worried about how fast I can get there. My goal was initially a year, and then it was two years, and now that I'm six weeks from the end of the second year and I have only ten movies left, I sort of want to take my time and not rush through for the sake of an artificial deadline.

11. City Lights  
12. The Searchers
13. Star Wars
14. Psycho
15. 2001: A Space Odyssey
16. Sunset Blvd.
17. The Graduate
18. The General
19. On the Waterfront
20. It's a Wonderful Life

I had not seen City Lights, The Searchers, 2001: A Space Odyssey (in its entirety), The General or On the Waterfront previous to the blogviews.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
Oh man. This is hard. Probably Sunset Blvd. just for the classy Hollywood story. Everything else has something working against it (2001 is a masterpiece but weird and occasionally difficult, Psycho is genius but Hitchcock has so many brilliant films it's hard to rule absolutely on which is best, etc.) It's pulpy and dramatic, and that screenplay is a master stroke.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
This is easier, and more predictable for me: The Searchers. Someday I'll have to go back and really analyze the Western but of all of them on the list this one just didn't do much for me. It felt so dated that it's only nostalgia that keeps it here.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
The Tramp (City Lights) might accidentally shove me into a river as I'm trying to commit suicide, but at least he saved me... accidentally.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight? Arbogast (Psycho) is one smart cookie, he'd know just what to do... but for overall toughness, the boys from On the Waterfront probably couldn't be topped.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Umm: the millionaire in City Lights -- he only remembers me when he's drunk, then kicks me out in the morning! So schizo.

Who do I take home to Mom?
Han Solo (Star Wars) is dashing and rocks the 70s do all over the galaxy. George Bailey (It's a Wonderful Life) is much the same but has some major demons... and the general (The General) is a little too straight-faced for me. Lighten up! I don't know. Options.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
On the Waterfront: your acting is so good so I'll meet you but man you're bleak. And you smell like the docks.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
It's a Wonderful Life: I just keep thinking back to that sappy ending, and I know I'll cry if I see you again.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
The Searchers. No explanation necessary.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
City Lights would even pay for my eye operation so I could see him!

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Marion Crane (Psycho) -- and she stole all my money! She'll get her comeuppance in the shower, no doubt.

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #21-#30

80 movies down! The end is in sight! I can view all the movies left at once on the right side of your screen! Your screen... because I'm standing behind you looking at it. HA! Made you look.

21. Chinatown
22. Some Like It Hot
23. The Grapes of Wrath
24. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
25. To Kill a Mockingbird
26. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
27. High Noon
28. All About Eve
29. Double Indemnity
30. Apocalypse Now

I had not seen Chinatown (though I had started), The Grapes of Wrath, To Kill a Mockingbird (though I had assumed I had), Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, High Noon, Double Indemnity or Apocalypse Now (which I also thought I'd seen) previous to the blogviews. I had seen the comedies and the Spielberg. Nice.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
For all-around brilliance I think it'd be hard to argue for anything but All About Eve. That cast! That screenplay! All the others have their good points but you just can't beat Eve and Margo.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
Oh man. Now this gets hard. These are all total classics! This was easier further down the list, but up here where the air is clearer it's harder to find things to pick apart. After lots of consideration, even though I liked it, I think it might be Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, if only because the others seem more singular, and I feel like there's other movies here like Mr. Smith.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
Um, duh: E.T.! You bring the sweetness and the finger-glowing, I'll bring the Reese's Pieces.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) wouldn't really do me much good, I'm guessing, since he's such a pacifist. But in case that would keep me from getting sucker-punched, I'd keep him around. Will Kane (High Noon) might be a little old, but he can keep bad guys at bay all by himself, even if Grace Kelly threatens to leave town right after he put a ring on it. J.J. Gittes (Chinatown), Tom Joad (The Grapes of Wrath) and Captain Willard (Apocalypse Now) are all live wires and might not be the best guys to have around.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
In light of current events, I'd like to say the Congress (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington). I thought they were gonna help me out but then they give me the silent treatment and become total assholes. Phyllis Dietrichson (Double Indemnity) might stab me in the back, or more accurately, choke me from the back. But do frienemies come more glossy and horrible than Eve Harrington (All About Eve)? Whatever, I saw right through her.

Who do I take home to Mom?
Jefferson Smith (Mr. Smith) is totally my mom's type, but she'd probably be creeped out by E.T. like all the adults are. C'mon Mom! He just needs to use the phone!

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
The Grapes of Wrath: we all know we should appreciate John Steinbeck but man you're a downer, and you ended our date with a weirdly out-of-place diatribe about how you'll be "all around in the dark" and that you'll be "everywhere." Ummmmmmmmmmmmmkay.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
High Noon. Uh oh, does that make me the cowardly townsfolk who don't help Gary Cooper? I think it does. Whatever, he'll do a better job without me.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
Apocalypse Now. Does that mean I'm skipping out on my civic duty? If my civic duty means encountering fat Brando in Cambodia, I think I'll flee to Canada.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Mr. Smith totally would, even though we talked all night (I mean, ALLL night) -- I'm seeing that he's one of the only really likable characters in this line-up, and his movie is the one I said I'd get rid of. Oops. Sorry, Jeff. Ma Joad (The Grapes of Wrath) would give me everything she had just out of the kindness of her heart, sweet ol' thing.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Evelyn Mulwray (Chinatown) has some secrets to keep. And which bitch in All About Eve wouldn't screw me over? Maybe not Karen. But she'd drain my gas tank to teach me a lesson!

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #31-#40

70 movies down, chummies. Only 30 to go, and I am newly reassured that I will make it to the end in two years' time. That is, if summer and life don't get in the way. They might. Oh, they might. And now for the smacking!

31. The Maltese Falcon
32. The Godfather Part II
33. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
34. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
35. Annie Hall
36. The Bridge on the River Kwai
37. The Best Years of Our Lives
38. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
39. Dr. Strangelove
40. The Sound of Music

I had not seen The Maltese Falcon, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Best Years of Our Lives or The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (all four totally dude-bro movies) previous to the blogviews.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
I think most people would say The Godfather Part II should be further up on the list, but I think it sits farther down the list than its predecessor for a few reasons. But I can't ignore how affected I was by The Best Years of Our Lives. I know, right? Black and white WWII weepie? WHAT? But it's true. I don't think it smashes any boundaries, but it's a great story well told and that's all I really want. It got to me and stuck with me.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
There's too many classics at this point on the list to be able to do this very easily, but it's probably got to be The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. The Maltese Falcon comes in second. Sorry, Humphrey.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
It's probably too easy to say Fraulein Maria (The Sound of Music), but come on: she's got confidence in me (and sunshine), she plays guitar and sings, and she's brave... once she gets over her love-phobia.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Well, Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon) is clever enough to trick anyone out of knocking me out, and Captain von Trapp (The Sound of Music) could stop anyone will those Siberian-husky eyes, but I think the sheer loyalty and power of Michael Corleone (The Godfather Part II) would be unstoppable ... as long as you didn't make him think twice for any reason. I mean, ANY reason.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Michael Corleone (Godfather) takes the cake. Who wouldn't he betray? Who wouldn't he snuff out? But Dobbs (The Treasure of the Sierra Madre) would betray me pretty quickly too, although that's gold blindness talking, and there's a pair of female villains (in Cuckoo's Nest and Snow White) who seem cool and collected at first but who would just as soon feed you a poisoned apple or blame you for your buddy's death as look at you.

Who do I take home to Mom?
Homer (The Best Years of Our Lives)! She totally won't mind that he's got no arms, and neither would I. She'd probably be better enamored with Snow White or Annie Hall too, although they might both drive me nuts.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
The Bridge on the River Kwai. We had a nice time, but I'm all set. And I don't want to end up in a POW camp in Burma, especially since my bridge labor is pretty much futile.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
It's so weird for me to say this, but Snow White! I didn't hate it, but I have seen it and now I know I don't need to watch it again. But I think I maybe would. But I probably won't.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. They showed up, and meanwhile I stole their gold and headed back across the border.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Annie Hall. We'd talk a lot too, and the omelette would be kosher.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
The boys in the Cuckoo's Nest, though they might not know any better... and Gutman (The Maltese Falcon) would probably also spike my drink and steal my artifactbird. And I think Rolf (The Sound of Music) would probably ditch me to be a Nazi. Harsh. Why am I choosing these people?!

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #41-#50

Am I really 60 movies into this? Only 40 movies away from the end? This goal is taking longer than I expected and I suppose I shouldn't be amazed that I'm still invested in this, but I am a little. Not every movie amazes me, but there's enough promise each time to get re-excited. Onto the smackdown!

41. King Kong
42. Bonnie and Clyde
43. Midnight Cowboy
44. The Philadelphia Story
45. Shane
46. It Happened One Night
47. A Streetcar Named Desire
48. Rear Window
49. Intolerance
50. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

I had not seen King Kong, Midnight Cowboy, Shane, It Happened One Night or Intolerance previous to the blog. Halfsies.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
If saying A Streetcar Named Desire tops these ten means I have a soft spot for actors, then so be it. But truly, that movie is a quartet for the ages, and has there ever been an ensemble of more emotional grandeur and transcendence than Brando, Leigh, Hunter and Malden? There's a couple of films that tie for second, but today I'd say Streetcar edges them all.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
Hands down: Shane. There are enough other westerns on this list to recommend, even if I didn't love them, and Shane just doesn't stand out for me in any way, shape or form.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
This is a no-brainer: Samwise Gamgee (LOTR). Drop everything and accompany me on a months-long journey across Middle Earth? Save me countless times from ringwraiths, Gollum and my own trenchant for ring-power? Forgive me for being a huge douche? Literally carry me the last couple of steps? Checkity check check. I want to name my son Samwise.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Aragorn (LOTR), Stanley Kowalski (Streetcar) and the titular gorilla (Kong) would form an unstoppable triumverate, wouldn't they? It probably also wouldn't hurt to have Stella (Rear Window) around in a pinch.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
This group of ten is lousy with them! Where to start? Gollum (LOTR) would trade my hide for a lump of mythic metal. That girl who sends the Dear One's husband to his death in Intolerance would do the same to me if I let her get too close, and same with the guy who tries to bribe Peter Warne on the bus in It Happened One Night. Ratso (Midnight Cowboy), both Bonnie and Clyde, and Carl Denham (Kong) are all of such one-track minds that they'd probably get me involved in their nefarious doings (hustling, ineptly robbing banks, and filming blockbusters at the expense of stars' well-being, respectively) only to drop me but quick.

Who do I take home to Mom?
Samwise! That Rosie girl can move to the back. Mike Connor (The Philadelphia Story) would also probably charm her Mom Jeans off.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Midnight Cowboy. You just wanted my money! ... although what I really mean is metaphorically, what movie do I like but not enough to watch again...? That's probably Intolerance. So. long.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
The Philadelphia Story. You're sweet but I'm just not that interested. I know others like you that are far more fun.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
Shane. Although I'm not convinced I would even agree to meet for coffee. I haven't disliked a film on this list so much since The Wild Bunch.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Mitch (Streetcar) would, although he might feel like he needs to be extra sweet and hurry things along so we can get married. But all the same, the omelette tastes good.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Who on this list doesn't? Certainly the whole Barrow Gang (Bonnie and Clyde) and Blanche DuBois (Streetcar) would take anything that wasn't nailed down. Harsh.

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #51-#60

The fifth cine-smackdown, chumps! Half-way done, and feelin' fine. Now that the weather's cooling off, I'm seeing frequent moviegoing, movieblogging and movieloving in my future.

51. West Side Story
52. Taxi Driver
53. The Deer Hunter
54. M*A*S*H
55. North by Northwest
56. Jaws
57. Rocky
58. The Gold Rush
59. Nashville
60. Duck Soup

I had not seen M*A*S*H, Rocky or The Gold Rush previous to the blog. Sometimes I think I like to see movies that are new to me more, but it's still fun to revisit the classics.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
It might just be my penchant for lightness right now, but I'm thinking Duck Soup just now. At only 68 minutes, it doesn't have much not to recommend, and doesn't veer off the path too much to stir up much complaint from me. For some of the same reasons, The Gold Rush is probably my second choice.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
It might have to be M*A*S*H: there are other films that deal with war more effectively, even comically (see the upcoming Dr. Strangelove), and other Altman films I prefer to this one (Nashville is one, The Player is another that didn't make the list). While I understand its place in American cinema, it just doesn't have as much to recommend it for me as the others here.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
Michael from The Deer Hunter maybe. He goes all the way back to his worst nightmare just to save his friend Nick from roulette doom. Or maybe the Little Fellow from The Gold Rush. He's not super resourceful or helpful (at least, on purpose) but we'd probably have a few laughs after I snapped out of my hunger coma.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Um... duh. Rocky. He's not gonna back down when Apollo Creed comes after me! Also, maybe Eve Kendall (North by Northwest): she's tricky and could probably entice the enemy into giving up.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Anita (West Side Story): way to betray me just because my boyfriend killed your boyfriend! Or the crazy guy from Jaws. Let's go nowhere near that guy. Or those bitches who blow off Charlie Chaplin for his awesome New Year's dinner-party-stravaganza in The Gold Rush. The Plastics of the 20s.

Who do I take home to Mom?
My mom looks a whole lot like Margaret Dumont from Duck Soup, so my first instinct is to bring home the men of Freedonia, but something tells me I'd just end up with a leg in my hand and my hat on fire. I'd probably have to say the Little Fellow again! That bread roll ballet! My mom would love that.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Rocky. You're all right but I'm not crazy about boxing. Although I admire your stamina.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
Taxi Driver: you're hot but way too mysterious for me. I like there to be a little less mystery in my romance, and that Herrmann theme is pressing all the wrong buttons ... or are they the right buttons? Whatever.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
M*A*S*H: somehow I think Hot Lips has it out for me.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Tony (West Side Story) is not only a good singer, but is also Polish: he might have a good pierogi recipe. Be still my heart!

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Iris (Taxi Driver): can I really blame her? She's only 12, and she's had a rough life. Someone should really go try to save her from a life of prostitution.

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #61-#70

The fourth cine-smackdown, dudes! This has taken a lot longer than I thought to get to, but now I'm forty movies in! Goalz.

61. Sullivan's Travels
62. American Graffiti
63. Cabaret
64. Network
65. The African Queen
66. Raiders of the Lost Ark
67. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
68. Unforgiven
69. Tootsie
70. A Clockwork Orange

I had previously seen Cabaret, Network, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Tootsie and A Clockwork Orange. An appropriately diverse list.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
My first instinct says Network. The acting, direction and screenplay are all textbook examples of how it's done. I'd probably stick with that, although Tootsie is a close second, for the same reasons. It's just that we think of dramas as much more important and more historically significant, don't we? But on the list of best comedies put out by the AFI, Tootsie is #2. Just sayin'.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
Now my bias is coming through. In the last smackdown I said The Wild Bunch (and I stick by that) and now I'm picking the western again. Unforgiven just didn't ring my bell at all. It's not even that westerns aren't my cup of tea (although they aren't) but I didn't find it visually or cinematically exciting... did you?? Clint Eastwood. Try again.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
I think maybe it's weird to say Teri Garr's character in Tootsie but maybe that's me searching for a hag. She's just so endearing, I can't help it! Jessica Lange and Bill Murray can come too. And if they wanted, the two captains of the African Queen could party with me. Something tells me they'd be hard drinkers. And The Toad from American Graffiti, especially if I'm underage and he can get me liquor.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Indiana Jones seems like an obvious answer: he saved Marion Ravenwood out of almost every skirmish she got herself into, and he beats up every bad guy in the place without problem (except if there are snakes around).

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Wow. Nearly anyone from Network, Woolf, Unforgiven and A Clockwork Orange... although something tells me I'd at least have the good sense to stay away from Faye Dunaway ... and the droogs. Cabaret's Emcee seems like a nice enough guy but I have no idea what's going on in his little mind.

Who do I take home to Mom?
If I have to narrow it down, it's probably Charlie Allnut (The African Queen). My mom would approve of Humphrey Bogart. Now I just have to get Katharine Hepburn to back off. Fat chance.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Unforgiven: I wanted to give you and your kind a chance, but you just disappoint me over and over. Am I destructive for thinking it could ever work?

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
Sullivan's Travels: you're a lot of fun, but you get kinda needlessly heavy.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
A Clockwork Orange, obviously: I mean, c'mon.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Brian (Cabaret) might make me a delicious German breakfast ... sausage, biscuits and gravy please! And a side of sexual ambiguity!

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Alex (A Clockwork Orange) would do all this AND probably rape and/or disfigure me. Yikes. Don't let him in when he says there's been a terrible accident!

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #71 - #80

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Cine-Smackdown: #81 - #90

Twenty movies in and it's time for another cine-smackdown!

81. Spartacus
82. Sunrise
83. Titanic
84. Easy Rider
85. A Night at the Opera
86. Platoon
87. 12 Angry Men
88. Bringing Up Baby
89. The Sixth Sense
90. Swing Time

I had seen four of these previously (Titanic, 12 Angry Men, Bringing Up Baby and The Sixth Sense). More so than the first cine-smackdown, I'm struck by how different all these films are. No matter how you try to categorize them, none of them seem to line up with each other. Three comedies, all from the 30s, still all seem so markedly different in what they're trying to do, in their styles. I guess it just goes to show that trying to compare films against each other in this list is going to be a tricky task. This is part of why I'm making these smackdowns easy on myself by making them a little silly.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
I hadn't given this thought until this moment (probably best), but the one that sticks out to me here is Bringing Up Baby. The fantastic, fantastical performances combined with the breakneck speed and the well-constructed story seem to provide the best fusion of elements of these ten to me. Ask me on another day and it might be different, but somehow that comedy seems to ask for more recognition than it gets.

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
At this point, it's still relatively easy to dig and find things I didn't like about each film (that will get hardly, presumably, the further up the list I get), but it still feels wrong to take one out. That said, I think it might A Night at the Opera: while it's a classic, long sections of it feel extraneous and counter-intuitive to the Marx Brothers' philosophy of comedy. I don't remember Duck Soup well enough to say if I like it better, but I feel like it might sum up their comedic style better and without the extra crap.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
It's probably unwise to make friends with pretty much anyone in #s 81-84 or #86. I still wouldn't say no to being friends with Kate Winslet in probably anything, though. Anyway. John "Lucky" Garnett from Swing Time is a hoot, adorable and a lot of fun to boot. Plus, he can dance. If that means Penny Carrol has to come along, so be it. It'd be sorta fun to get high with the guys from Easy Rider but if I learned anything from that movie it's that I should probably stay in my hippie commune and not follow them on a motorcycle.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Jack Dawson from Titanic probably wouldn't back down, and his sense of loyalty would come in handy for sure. Juror #3 from 12 Angry Men would probably be a good asset, too. While they might not be packing the biggest punch, any of the brothers in A Night at the Opera or Susan from Bringing Up Baby could probably create a diversion while I slipped out the back. Lynn Sear in The Sixth Sense would pack a punch.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Sgt. Barnes in Platoon, Batiatus in Spartacus and The Woman from the City in Sunrise would totally betray me, no question. If those chumps showed up at my door, I'd want nothing to do with them.

Who do I take home to Mom?
Varinia in Spartacus is totally fine, with a great baby bucket and a weakness for sensitive guys. Juror #8 (12 Angry Men) and John Garnett (Swing Time) would also probably charm the pants off my mom.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Platoon: this didn't seem like a good idea in the first place, and you kept getting distracted during our date, spilling your coffee nervously and glancing around like someone was after you. Sunrise: you seemed nice but you weren't much of a talker (oops lame joke).

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
A Night at the Opera: we had a lot of fun on our date, but when I went home I couldn't help but think you'd try to deceive me by wearing a false beard the next time we met. Plus, I'm rehearsing a show right now and I have a feeling if we started dating you might show up and ruin it with your hijinks.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
Spartacus: I just don't think it's gonna work out.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
David Huxley in Bringing Up Baby and The Wife in Sunrise would probably both think that was the proper, right thing to do, if they stayed that long. Jack Dawson would probably make an omelette. John Garnett would take me somewhere fancy.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Billy from Easy Rider. I hate to say it, but he seems like that kinda guy. He would also take all my coke... and probably leave me a VD. Thanks a lot!

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!

Cine-Smackdown: #91 - #100

Well, I've made it to some sort of landmark in this crazy goal -- ten movies down! So now, for a retrospective.

91. Sophie's Choice
92. The French Connection
93. Goodfellas
94. Pulp Fiction
95. The Last Picture Show
96. Do the Right Thing
97. Blade Runner
98. Yankee Doodle Dandy
99. Toy Story
100. Ben-Hur

I had seen five of these previously (Sophie's Choice, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, Blade Runner and Toy Story), and I definitely took more away from each one this time. I'm not sure if that can be attributed solely to the critical lens that I'm trying to use with this diablogue; it might just be time. Sure, Pulp Fiction was awesome when it came out, but marvelously it's still awesome now. It holds up well.

Of these ten, which would I move further up the list?
This is a hard first question, as it's the first ten, but I'd say in terms of overall achievement, either Pulp Fiction, The Last Picture Show or Toy Story. Do the Right Thing and Ben-Hur could get added if you went solely in terms of cultural significance and historical relevance, but overall I enjoyed those first three the most. This is what's gonna get difficult about this project: how do you choose just one when none of them can be compared?

Of these ten, which would I get rid of?
This is a little easier, because there's one film that sticks out like a sore thumb to me: The French Connection. William Friedkin made a better film than this one that had a larger impact on American cinema (The Exorcist isn't even on the list), and in terms of crime dramas/thrillers on the list, I'm not sure what really sets this one above the rest. Sweet car chase, though.

Who in these movies do I want as my best friend?
Andy from Toy Story seems like a good kid; I think if I was the age I was when I saw the movie originally, he and I would be total pals. It probably wouldn't hurt to befriend his toys either. George M. Cohan (Yankee Doodle Dandy) would be a fun guy to know but he's so busy with his career he probably wouldn't give me the time of day.

Who in these movies do I want to have my back in a bar fight?
Definitely Jules (Pulp Fiction) quoting imaginary scripture passages and being the world's most singular badass. Ben Hur and Radio Raheem (Do the Right Thing) are probably my runners-up, but they could be in the entourage.

Who in these movies is your worst frienemy?
Might be Duane Jackson (The Last Picture Show) because he seems like good, solid best-friend material ... but he's too proud and too excited to go and ditch me for the Korean War.

Who do I take home to Mom?
I'd say Sonny (The Last Picture Show) but I'm afraid he has a thing for older ladies so I don't know if that's such a good idea. If I was 100% sure that Rachael (Blade Runner) wasn't a Replicant I might consider that. Woody (Toy Story) is pretty charming, but he does have that pull string, and it's a little too short for me.

You're going on a date with these movies. Who do you agree to meet for coffee but never call again?
Maybe Blade Runner. It's awesome, but I don't really think we have that much in common. Or Ben-Hur: that date was just a chore to sit through.

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then say you'll call but never do?
I hate to say this, but it might be The Last Picture Show. I had a really nice time, and we had a few laughs, but by the end of the date you were sort of a downer. You're really cute, though!

Who do you agree to meet for coffee, and then not show up?
I would say Goodfellas but I'm afraid he would send Tommy DeVito after me. You don't disrespect those guys. Is it terrible to say Sophie's Choice is probably used to rejection?

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and makes you breakfast in the morning?
Genevieve the waitress in The Last Picture Show, and not just because she makes a mean cheeseburger, but also because she's sweet and kind, and she probably has to get to work pretty early. She basically runs that restaurant by herself, you know.

Who do you meet for a first date, ends up staying the night and then leaves in the morning without saying goodbye ... and steals your favorite sweater?
Without a doubt: Honey Bunny and/or Pumpkin (Pulp Fiction).

What other questions would you have asked about these movies? I'd love more ideas! Leave your thoughts, reactions, passionate defenses and harsh critiques in the comments!